Ebook Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts
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Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts
Ebook Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts
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Audible Audiobook
Listening Length: 9 hours and 2 minutes
Program Type: Audiobook
Version: Unabridged
Publisher: Archieboy Holdings, LLC
Audible.com Release Date: July 29, 2016
Whispersync for Voice: Ready
Language: English, English
ASIN: B01J8FMK28
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
Like so many resources for betrayal trauma, this book says "this is traumatic and not at all your fault", then turns around and says "this is kind of your fault - let's explore what pathology caused you to get into this situation.". It suggests you "do your own work" while your partner does his own, subtly pushing a false equivalence. This message was so confusing and harmful for me as an emotionally and mentally healthy woman of integrity. Unfortunately the bait-and-switch is a natural consequence of blindly shoehorning serial sexual misconduct into the addition/disease model.Perhaps the message is helpful for genuinely codependent / emotionally immature partners, but if you have a nagging sense that it doesn't quite apply, do yourself a favor and read "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life" or any work by Dr. George Simon instead.
When I started reading this book I was totally at a loss and my life was nothing but a great mess. I didn't know what to do, I didn't understand what I am facing, I was like the king in a chess game who has just been checked!! I was standing in one point not able to move one step forwards, backwards or to either of the sides. The whole situation was devastating for me when I discovered after nine years of marriage that my husband was a sex addict.I am Egyptian and he is British. In Egypt, the culture and the religion are so very different from Europe or The United States. At the beginning I thought it was just a difference in culture and background that was causing the problems. But then things started to get worse by the day. We, in Egypt, specially girls, don't know much about issues like sex addiction or even about sex in general. I took him to three different therapists in three different situations to figure out the problem but none of them could. In a situation like that, where I don't have enough knowledge, and the therapist are not much of a help, this book was a life saver for me.The book made the picture clear in my mind. Even if it doesn't solve the problem immediately - as this has to come from within each person according to different circumstances of each case - then at least it identifies the problem, tells you what you need to know about the fight you found yourself in, and leads you to mend your heart and soul that were badly hurt and injured. It was a very useful read in the absence of any help in my country including therapy groups. The subject of sex addiction seems to be new to the whole world, and the few therapist who know about it in Egypt were very hard to locate. Therapy groups are only available for other addictions like Alcohol and Narcotics, but not for sex addiction. The importance of this book for me stems from the lack of any other aid methods in my country, and I think I know now what I need to do to fix myself and save it from a destructive relationship.I hope it helps other people too, and may God bless the Author who helped from all that distance by taking the time to write this important book. I appreciate the quick and professional service that I got from Amazon, without their help I could never have found that book or read it. I also recommend two more books that I bought from Amazon, for people who have my problem: "Don't call it love" and "out of the shadows" by Patrick Carnes. They are very useful and important to read when you have a sex addict at home.
Answered so many questions I had for fifty years. Married a Narcissist Borderline personality disorder with a sex addiction. Been to hell and back...still trying to heal. God is Good!
This has helped me tremendously in my journey through this hell. I'd recommend it to anyone.
Dr.Stefanie Carnes has a very deep understanding of addiction, especially sex addiction and knows in depth how it effects the people closest to the addict: partner, children, friends. It takes you through the domino effect of the progression.This book clearly validates for the partners that they are not crazy. They were not over reacting. This was actually happening.The book has its ah-ha moments where things begin to fall into place and how at each stage you, the partner, knew something was off but just could not put your finger on it.It takes a whole lot of weight off - the self blame of maybe if I was prettier, thinner, talked dirty enough, was sexually more experienced. You finally get it: it has nothing to do with you! You did not cause it in any way.The only thing that I truly wish would've helped was more awareness about this disease.I hope this helps you get past that crucial milestone of: This disease isn't about you.Of course, your dialogue with God about ' why me?' will continue for a while. It surely is not fair especially if you are not a codependent.
A great book. Lets me know that I'm not the only one facing this situation and it gives me some things to consider when deciding on what steps I can take or decisions I need to consider.
Excellent book! Packed with information on betrayal and trauma that a partner experiences. Helps you to understand your situation, gain perspective and go through the necessary stages to recover from your pain.
I think this book is a good start to the process of therapy. I would recommend it.
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